A VIEW UNASSISTED _________________ A One-Act Play by Craig Abernethy Copyright ©2006 Cast of Characters Man: Late 20s to early 40s, short hair, trim, a fashionable three days of stubble, dark sport coat, dress shirt, jeans, sturdy shoes, carries large shoulder bag. Woman: Late 20s to early 40s, short hair, trim, little make-up, a simple dress, small purse, sandals, workout jacket. SETTING: An uninviting corner of the not too distant future with places to sit and a working pay phone (a corner coffee shop, pocket park, or transit stop). AT RISE: The Woman waits trying to mask her apprehension. After a few moments the Man Enters Up Stage, moves slowly toward her, finds a spot (behind a light pole, tree, etc.) to hide, watches her for a moment, makes sure it is safe, takes out a sleek cell phone, and dials. The pay phone rings, the Woman is startled, and then tries to answer casually. WOMAN Yes? Hello? MAN “Miss Nancy?” WOMAN Of course. MAN Good. WOMAN Is this necessary? MAN What? WOMAN Talking like this? On this? It smells. MAN Sorry about that. I like to size up my potential customers. So: you know “Secret Agent Numero Uno?” WOMAN Is that what you call him? MAN It’s our little joke. WOMAN Yours and his? MAN I’ll never tell. WOMAN (Irritated) Ours, I suppose? MAN You’re not handling the pressure very well. WOMAN Oh, God! MAN I don’t want you getting all pissy. I don’t want you thinking I sell because you want to buy. I don’t want to risk what I have for a stranger, unless you don’t want what I have? WOMAN Sorry. Go on. MAN You might want to work on that attitude. WOMAN (Takes a breath) I feel like a fool, and the phone smells, and yes… what do you have? MAN More of what you want than you can possibly afford. WOMAN Really? MAN No, not really: I have some, a good quantity and quality. Clean. Fresh. Certified. Still interested Miss Nancy? WOMAN What do I call you? MAN You call me… “Ralph.” “The Ralph-ster.” WOMAN “The Ralph-ster?” MAN Sure. WOMAN So, “Ralph-ster:” how much? MAN To the point! Ouch! And why not? Miss Nancy rolls in it! Okay: first husband – military officer? Navy pilot, maybe? A few years together; too many parties at the officer’s club and it ends early with no kids. Second husband… older, money… dentist, maybe… root canals only guy? So what do you drive anyway? American? German? Sports sedan? Tell me it’s not a van? What’s your ride? (Waits and no response) MAN (Cont) C’mon! Gotta know that. Professional… not really… Okay: please. WOMAN Triumph Spitfire. It was my great-grandfathers. MAN Rag-top! You can keep a Spitfire? WOMAN We let it out to Drivers now and again. MAN Parts? WOMAN My husband learned some machining in “Retraining.” This phone… MAN Okay. Cool. Not all rusted out by now? WOMAN It’s garaged; we’re careful. MAN “We” as in you and your husband? WOMAN I don’t see what my domestic arrangement has to do with… MAN Your “domestic arrangement” is essential to this discussion. (End of sample) Complete scripts can be obtained by e-mailing Craig here |
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