STATE OF THE ART ________________ A One-Act Play by Craig Abernethy Copyright © 2003 Cast of Characters Fran or Frank:  A woman or man who thinks highly of self, and               is oldest of the three. Sue or Sam:     An eager to please woman or man and youngest               of the three. Carries a clipboard and pencil. Jean or Jack:   A woman or man and crony of Fran/Frank’s.               The characters wear plain trousers [e.g.               chinos] and polo or Oxford cloth shirts.               While women or men can play each role,               masculine character names and pronouns are               used throughout this script (and should be               adjusted per casting). SETTING:        An almost bare stage: three or four black               boxes and a broom, ladder, etc. are seen               against the Up Stage wall. TIME:           The present. NOTE:           Programs should contain the following               advisory: "SETTING: The writer’s mind.               The set is bare stage with black boxes,               used as needed.” AT RISE:        A dimly lit stage and, after a moment, the               lights go down then come up suddenly on Sam               and Jack as Frank enters. FRANK                                   (Enters) Well, where were we? (Jack and Sam turn to him) JACK Just getting started, “beginning at the beginning.” SAM Start at the start. FRANK Excellent: “beginning.” JACK How was your little break? FRANK Fine, thanks. “Beginning.” JACK “At the beginning.” How’s the time? FRANK Only have the place nearly an hour. JACK That’ll be enough? FRANK We’ll have something to show them. “Beginning.” SAM (Tentatively after a breath) How? JACK How what? SAM Excuse me, but, how do we begin, our beginning? FRANK “How do we begin our beginning?” Good. Must know that. JACK Only have the place nearly an hour? FRANK Or so. “Beginning at the beginning.” JACK An entrance!? FRANK What? JACK Someone enters!? SAM To sort of start things off? FRANK Excellent! (To Jack) You really have a knack for this. JACK (Smiles) Thanks. SAM Someone enters, and… we’re off! JACK Given that, but… someone enters and what? What do they do? FRANK Can’t have them just walking on, they’ve got to do something. They enter and… say something! JACK Of course! FRANK They enter, and say something. SAM (Writing a note) To who? FRANK What? SAM To who do they say… FRANK Ahhh! SAM …what they say? JACK I got it! They say something; but who to? FRANK Worth considering. Hmm. JACK We could have somebody already out there when the enterer enters. SAM Sort of already “there!” FRANK Yes! Make a note. Please. One on, and one enters. Good. (Sam writes on the clipboard) JACK So now we’re up to two. FRANK (Reads over Sam’s shoulder) “One on, and one enters.” SAM Why stop there? FRANK Hmmm? SAM Why stop at two? Why not three? FRANK (To Jack) It’s a fair question. JACK “Why not three?” SAM My question exactly. JACK (A little exasperated) Yes(!), in fact, your question exactly: “why not three?” FRANK Now; now: he’s only trying to help. JACK I know… it’s just sometimes… He’s, well… FRANK Why not? Say: two on and one enters. JACK Three? FRANK Two on and one enters. JACK (Agitated) You’re sure? FRANK Two’s so dreary. Always talking just to each other. SAM (Trying to help) First one; then the other. FRANK No one else there. First one; then the other. “A, B; A, B; A, B…” SAM No one else there. “A, B; A, B…” FRANK First one; then the other. Tiresome. Predictable. SAM Repetitive. FRANK (To Sam) I think I covered that. JACK (Stops) That’s it then: three. FRANK I think it’s a way to go. “Beginning”-wise. SAM (Consults his notes) Now one is on; and one enters? (A brief pause while they regard one another) FRANK I see your point. (“Leads” Jack) One is on,… and one enters… JACK Oh! Where’s the third? On? Off? FRANK One is on, with or with out someone, and one enters, with out or with, someone else. Where’s the third? JACK With one on and two off coming on you get:… FRANK (Unimpressed) One on and two off. JACK Whereas… FRANK With two on and one off coming on, you get… JACK An explosion! SAM An eruption? JACK Fireworks, at least. FRANK That’s it then: two on and one off coming on. Entering. Write that down, please: “two on,” and so on. (Takes a breath and off-handedly to Jack) This is us. This is what we do. JACK Only have the place nearly an hour? FRANK Don’t fret: we’ll have something to show them. JACK And they’ll like it? FRANK As long as we have something likeable. JACK And if we don’t? FRANK We will. It’s a process. We do this. JACK It’s just that… FRANK You get nervous. It’s a lot, I know: “two on; one off”-wise. But we do this. Before. Now. Always. JACK Thanks. SAM And the two on…? Talking? “A, B; A, B?” FRANK Banal. SAM Just thought I’d ask. FRANK Always good to get it out there. No “wrong” ideas here. Feel free to share. SAM Thanks. (Waits a moment) What then? JACK What? SAM What are they doing? JACK “Doing?”. FRANK (Takes a breath and to Jack initially) It’s a valid point. His point. We have one off waiting to come on, and two on, and they have to be doing something. Can’t just have them standing around: out there, in front of everybody SAM Where are they? JACK “What” is more important. SAM Than what? JACK Than “where.” Have to be doing something: “two on”-wise. (They consider the issue for a moment or two) FRANK Unless! JACK Yes? FRANK Unless..? Work with me here… JACK Not yet fully formed? FRANK No. But forming… SAM Yes? JACK Shhh! He’s “forming.” FRANK Unless it all sort of happens… sort of all… lickety-split at once. You know: bare stage; house to half; house out; lights up, two on, and one off comes on! Enters! JACK And? FRANK And we begin! JACK Brilliant! SAM (Making notes) So it’s dark; and then the lights come up…? FRANK (Enthused) And the one off comes on! JACK And the two on? Are… waiting? (A brief pause) FRANK No. Waiting’s been done. JACK Waiting’s been done? FRANK To death. (Excited) The lights come up; and the one off comes on; and they… turn! No. The lights come up and the one off comes on, and says something; and they turn! No! First they’re facing away and then the lights come up, and the one off enters, and says something, and they turn! (Takes a breath) And we’re off! JACK “Says something.” “They turn.” (To Sam) You got all that? “Start”-wise. SAM “Two on.” “Enters.” “Says something.” “They turn.” Says…? (They pause to think and after a moment) FRANK “Well, where were we?” JACK That’s good. They’ll like that. “Well, where were we?” SAM Really. Yes! FRANK Write that down. (End of sample...) A complete script can be obtained by e-mailing Craig here